So Close, Yet So Ed
by Nintendo Nut1
Summary: Life in junior high is almost done, but less than relaxing. Edd's parents drop the news that a little sibling is on the way, and it'll take a miracle for Ed and Eddy to pass the final exam. Summer's so close, yet so far away...
1. Early Summer Mentality

A/N: Okay… here's the dealio. The reason I've been gone for so long is that my compy gave us the blue screen of doom. And that's all I gotta say. So to deal with my loss of computer, I began writing some EEnE fic ideas stored in my brain. And here they come at ya! I know I have other stuff to catch up on, but you know what? I'm the author, and I decide what I put up. So there. Nyah! (is bricked)

Okay, so, onto this fic! Yes, yes, I've heard of an EEnE movie in production. Yes, I'm very excited. At this point, I wished I was on the writer's board for that, 'cause I've got so many different ideas… this being one of them. And I've gotta get it up before the movie comes out! AHHHH(goes crazy) Ahem… Notes? Well, I suppose this comes before my fic "Expos-ED," a prequel, if you will. The events of that one-shot will be strategically placed in here somewhere. I haven't even gotten to that point in the writing yet. X) I'm so far behind… Oh well. Let's get this gravy train rolling!

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**So Close, Yet So Ed**

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Chapter 1: Early Summer Mentality

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_Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock._

The audible sound of the classroom class ticking the seconds away was the only noise that registered fully through Eddy's thick head, which he didn't bother to put to proper use at the moment. The teacher's voice went in one ear and out the other. All he heard was that infuriating clock, which he believed was going as slow as possible on _purpose_, just to annoy the heck out of him.

_Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock._

As the last few minutes of his imprisonment passed by, Eddy grew bored with staring at nothing and began to look around the classroom aimlessly, with most of his face still planted atop his desk like a deflated balloon.

To his immediate right sat his chum Edd, who was taking notes with a giddy desire to learn that only he could maintain. His eyes snapped erratically, like a squirrel's, between the teacher and his piece of paper, his pencil scribbling furiously with a series of hollow, clocking sounds as it struck the wood underneath. The scribbling joined the clock on the list of sounds that were beginning to work on Eddy's last nerve.

_Tick, tock, scribble, scribble. Tick, tock. Scribble._

Eddy turned to his left to find his other buddy, oafish Ed, exercising a rare moment of self-control. His attention, however, was not front and center, but to his own left, out the window and on an ideal scene of early summer. The grass was its greenest, the flowers in season were in full bloom, and there wasn't a cloud in the sky. There was the most pathetic, longing pout on poor Ed's face, like a puppy trapped indoors, and Eddy was half-expecting the dope to lose it and leap out the window. At this point, however, he was feeling the same way.

At first, Ed wasn't making any noises to add on to the fuel lighting Eddy's short fuse. At least, until he began a soft, impatient rock in his chair, causing it to creak repeatedly.

_Tick, tock, scribble, scribble, creak. Tick, tock, scribble, scribble, creak, creak._

Eddy was being driven to near madness. It took every bit of his limited self-control to keep him from screaming at the whole world to just shut _up_. Freedom was moments away, and he was nearly foaming at the mouth as every second he waited was more unbearable than the last. Finally, when he felt like he was going to explode…

_RIIIIIIIIIIING!_

"Oh!" Edd piped up, punctuating his interjection with a closing slap of his book. "Three 'o clock bell! Another end to another enriching school day!"

"YES!" Breaking out of his temperamental constipation, Eddy leaped out of his chair, swinging his bag over his shoulder. "Sweet freedom!"

"Goody, goody!" Ed broke the foundations of his desk for about the hundredth time this school year in his happy bound, grabbing his two friends by the neck and darting out into the hallways.

"_ED!_" Edd protested, snatching every paper that flew out of his grasp.

"Whoa! Who put the quarter in you, Lumpy?"

"Outside! Grass! Roll! I gotta!" Ed exclaimed incoherently as he rocketed down the hall, knocked down several children.

"You gotta what?"

Ed then burst through Peach Creek Junior High's front doors, dropping his buddies carelessly and outstretching his arms as if reuniting with an old friend. In absolute glee, he pounced onto the grass, rolling around in it with his trademark laugh.

"Hehe, look at 'em, Double D," Eddy snickered. "He's like a little puppy. 'Cept you don't have to clean up after him."

Brushing himself off, Edd shook his head in disagreement. "Three words, Eddy: early summer mentality. Not a wise condition to be in when there's still six weeks of school left."

"Killjoy."

"You hear me, Ed?" Edd lifted his pal up by the grass-stained collar of his jacket.

"Not a word, Double D!"

Edd frowned, ignoring Eddy's suppressed chuckle. "I expected no less from you, Ed. Come on, let's go home."

"Home is where the gravy ferments!" Ed delightfully noted as the trio began their stroll back to the cul-de-sac.

"That's nice, Ed."

"Aw, come on, loosen up, Sockhead," Eddy bickered. "School's practically over anyway."

"Oh, _contraire_, my dear friend!" Edd's voice grew light and bubbly. "Six weeks is a long time! Who knows what changes will come about and how much we can grow from them within that time period?"

Eddy replied with a weird look. "Man, Double D, you need, like, professional help or something."

Edd sulked, but decided to mentally brush that comment off. "Let's not forget about the final exam."

"Final exam?" Eddy paused in his march. "What final exam?"

Edd rolled his eyes, exasperated. "The test the teacher has been talking about for _a month_? The one we need to pass in order to move on to high school? Any of this ringing a bell, Eddy?"

"Ring-a-ding-ding!" Ed chorused, bumping into Edd and irritating him further.

"Do you _mind_, Ed?"

"Not at all, Double D!"

"So what you're saying is…" Eddy interrupted, having thought this through during their quarrel. "… that if we don't pass this test, we don't get to graduate junior high?"

Edd nodded, glad to be getting somewhere. "_Precisely_."

"No going to high school?"

"Not for another year of repeating eighth grade."

Eddy bit his lip. His brother had told him plenty of wild adventures from his high school years, which succeeded in piquing his interest and brewing a desire to reach those years as quickly as possible. He longed to leave the juvenile halls of junior high and enter a new world with a clean slate, build up his rep, and maybe even score a few chicks. That was a big maybe, though, as their teenage years had only just begun. Still, it was a nice thought.

Reaching a conclusion, Eddy yanked Edd down to his height by the shirt in desperation. "Double D! You gotta help me pass that test!"

Edd grinned widely at his change of heart. "Well, I could tutor you from now until then if you would like."

"Yeah, sure, whatever!"

"That's the spirit!" Edd replied enthusiastically, pausing as he faced Ed. "…I assume you'll be needing assistance as well, Ed?"

"With lots of mustard!"

"Of course."

"Well? Shake a leg, ladies! Your house, Double D!"

"Right behind you, Eddy!"

Summer was so close the boys could almost smell it. But fate had yet to drop its full load just yet.

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A/N: Have I mentioned before how fun it is to write their dialogue? Well, it is. XD Anyways, review, you lovely readers, you!


	2. Stress Inducing News

A/N: Two chapters at once! Aren't I generous? Well, no, I'm doing it since the summary wouldn't make sense unless I got them both up. XD And they're both short chappies, so, there ya go. Please, read on!

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Chapter 2: Stress-Inducing News

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Ed and Eddy announced themselves to the empty house with the slamming of the front door, nearly breaking it from its hinges.

"Gentlemen, please!" Edd urged, pointing at their feet. "You know the rules!"

Eddy groaned as he kicked off his shoes, Ed doing the same with his teeth. "Still haven't rewritten 'em, huh, Double D?"

"Of course not," Edd proudly replied, removing his own sneakers. "Gather your supplies and meet me in the living room to start the lesson."

"Yeah, yeah…"

"With bells on our toes, Double D!"

Edd waited for the two to shift towards the living room, then went into the kitchen to make a mini-sweep of any updated parental sticky notes. Upon entering, however, he immediately made a strange discovery.

"Hmm? What's this?" Puzzled, he gazed at a small chain of sticky notes laying atop the dining table. Each sentence on one note led to the next one underneath.

"An extended sticky note?" Edd had never seen the likes of this before, lifting it up and quietly reading the long message to himself.

Upon finishing, his body went stiff, his blood ran cold, and the color drained from his face. He swayed a bit, then his brain went into overdrive from shock, and he fell back, welcoming the simplicity of unconsciousness.

"YO, SOCKHEAD!" Soon, Eddy burst into the kitchen with Ed following faithfully behind. "Where the heck are you? Are you gonna make me smart or what?"

Upon glancing into the room, Ed gasped dramatically. "Double D!" he cried, rushing to his fallen buddy's side with Eddy close behind, mildly concerned.

"What's up with Double D?"

"Oh, I've seen this before, Eddy," Ed moaned, cradling Edd's limber body in his arms. "Double D's had the _life_ squeezed out of him by the Body Pinchers!"

"…Tell me, Ed, do you have _any_ ties to reality whatsoever?"

"Somewhere… I think."

"He _fainted_, stupid!"

"Yeah, from _lifelessness!_"

Eddy gave up, grumbling, and looked around, spotting the sticky note chain. "Hello, what's that?" He picked it up and read it aloud. "'Dear Eddward, we apo… apollo… apol…"

"Apologize!" Edd croaked, then fell limp once again in Ed's arms, like a physical reaction. Ed, properly surprised, stared at his prone form, waiting for him to do it again.

"Right… 'We apologize for not informing you sooner, but in less than a month's time, you shall no longer be an only child.'" Eddy made a face. "What the heck does _that_ mean?"

Setting Edd down, Ed seriously considered this. Once he figured it out, he beamed widely, unaware that Edd had quietly awakened. "Double D's getting a baby brother or sister!"

There was a soft thud as Edd hit the floor again.

"Nice one, Ed."

"Your welcome!"

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Some time later, Edd groggily awoke from his shock-induced snooze. As he slowly lifted his heavy eyelids, he found himself encountering a close-up of a pair of googly eyes, connected by a think unibrow.

"GAH!"

"Double D?" Ed questioned, lifting him up by the droop of his hat. "Is that you?"

"Ed, haven't we discussed this issue of personal space many times before?"

"It IS you!" Ed happily squeezed Edd in a bear of a hug., calling out, "EDDY! DOUBLE D'S AWAKE NOW!"

"'Bout time!" Eddy entered Edd's field of vision, wearing a familiar, impatient glare. "Well? How do you feel?"

Coughing, Edd evaluated his situation, sulking miserably. "Like all the planets and stars have fallen from the sky and smacked me in the face."

"Nah, that's probably Ed's body odor."

"Not this time, Eddy," Edd moaned, slithering out of Ed's hold and lying on the cold, unforgiving tiled floor of the kitchen. "I just… I cannot fathom how my parents couldn't have told me sooner! They had a whole half-year, Eddy!" he cried, shooting up, grabbing him, and shaking him back and forth. "_An entire half-year!_"

"But a baby sibling is a _good_ thing, Double D!" Ed beamed, bouncing up and down. "You get to sing them songs and read them books and change their stinky diapers and…"

"I'm not ready for this, Eddy! I've existed as an only child for all my near-fourteen years of living! How can I possibly adapt?"

"…and watch TV with them and buy fudge for them and…"

"I've heard too many horror stories from the both of you in regards to siblings! What if I can't manage to cope, Eddy? _WHAT THEN?_"

"…and wrestle with them and get pummeled by them and…"

The two of them froze when Eddy grabbed Edd's hat with one hand and Ed's eyebrow with the other, and a rare moment of silence was observed.

"First off, Ed, shut up. Second, Double D, I'll give you 'til the count of three to get off my face, let go of my shirt, and get over yourself."

"B-but Eddy…!"

"It's not the end of the world, DeNero! So get a grip on yourself and tutor us already, will ya?"

Edd hesitated. During his anxiety attack, he had completely forgotten about the tutoring session.

"…oh…" he replied weakly, growing uncomfortable. "Oh dear… erm… sorry, fellows, but, um… Is there any possible way we could… reschedule?" he asked hopefully, the last word uttered with a tiny squeak.

"_Oh, come on, Double D!_" Eddy exploded, and now it was his turn to jerk Edd back and forth. "I need to pass that test and you darn well know it!"

"Eddy, _please!_" Edd begged, literally on his knees. "All I ask for is one night, _one night_ to recollect my thoughts on this incredibly stress-inducing subject! We'll begin the tutoring immediately tomorrow, I promise!"

Eddy glowered, then released his grip. "Fine, whatever. But you better not start getting flaky on us, Sockhead!"

"Shhshush!" Edd pulled him aside towards the doorway, waggling a finger. "Double D needs time for his cheese to curdle."

"...um… thank you for understanding, Ed."

"I thought I told you to shut up, stupid," Eddy growled, pulling Ed out of the room. The slamming of the front door signified their departure.

Edd was left alone to his woes. He sighed, highly discouraged.

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Once he had motivated himself to change locale, Edd moved into his private bedroom, trying to surround himself in a comforting atmosphere. Indeed, the labeled furniture, alphabetized books, and lively ant farm succeeded in calming his nerves, allowing his mind to clear itself of emotional distractions and actually _think_.

He was sitting at his desk, leaned over slothfully and turning his chapless skull in his hands as his current thinking pose. Others before it that evening included laying on his bed while twirling a ruler in his hand and staring idly at the thousands of ants tunneling through the farm's commercial dirt.

Oddly enough, this particular pose seemed more productive towards his thought process, especially when he paused to gaze at the skull, which had a strange connection to the object of his intense contemplation. Though the tough bone was durable enough to hit a brick wall without cracking, Edd subconsciously cradled it with the greatest of care, as if it was made of glass, or more accurately, early-formed cartilage atop a baby's head.

That's when it hit him at full force. A baby. In less than a month, he would be holding an actual baby, probably this exact size. More importantly, this baby would have his same genes and perhaps his same characteristics, and would grow up to maybe even idolize him, following him around like his very own entourage of cuteness.

As the possibilities weaved through his mind, a smile began to grow on Edd's face, flourishing as the idea of a younger sibling became more appealing by the second.

As he looked at the clock and realized how late it was, he smiled gently as his beloved skull and kissed its forehead, practicing for the real thing. He then placed it lovingly upon the table before getting ready for bed, humming a light tune.

His dreams were filled with joyous laughter, the small hand of his yet-to-be brother or sister clutched firmly in his own.

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A/N: Wee! What fun! …nothing else to say but review!


	3. The Miracle of Life

A/N: Next chapter! Okay… this chapter is the main reason why the rating is a bit higher than it seems it should be. I'm sure you'll understand when you read. Teehee. Read on, my dear readers!

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Chapter 3: The Miracle of Life

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The next morning, Edd was so light in the heart he felt like drifting away into the sky. He had literally skipped to school, breezed through his morning classes, and couldn't seem to stop humming the same happy tune.

During passing period, Edd was stationed in front of his locker, straightening his tie delightfully as he bopped to the song playing in his head. Unbeknownst to him, his two friends popped up beside him, watching him carefully as they had done the whole morning so far. Eddy was convinced their pal had cracked, whereas Ed grew giddy for no real reason other than to _be_ giddy.

"Um… Double D?" Eddy finally spoke up as Edd pulled up his perfect tie. "Are you… feeling alright?"

Edd swerved around quickly, facing Eddy with a wide grin that made him jump. "I've never felt better, Eddy!" he trilled, picking up his short pal and twirling him around. "I feel as fresh as a daisy, as limber as a gazelle, positively lighter than air!"

"Alright, we get it, you're happy!" Eddy waited until Edd put him back down before continuing. "Geez, what happened? Yesterday you looked ready to fall apart!"

"Somebody had a good night's sleep!" Ed proclaimed, patting Edd on the head. "Right, Double D?"

"Indeed I did, Ed!" Edd twirled around to embrace him, a gesture he rarely shared with Ed. "I had dreams last night, visions of my unborn sibling and I, riding through life's cycle hand in hand! Oh, when I just _think_ about the moments we'll share and the growth we'll achieve together, my heart swells with joy!"

"Let's sing a song!" The two proceeded to dance in a jolly little circle, laughing gaily.

That is, until Eddy broke the circle. "Seriously, cut that out! You guys are gonna make me _heave_ over here!"

"Oh, don't forget, Eddy!" Edd playfully flicked his nose, receiving a growl in return. "Today after school, your tutoring sessions begin!"

"Boy, I can't wait."

Eddy's sarcasm flew right over Edd's head as he grabbed his sack lunch, shutting his locker door. "Shall we embark to lunch, gentlemen?"

"After you, soon-to-be big brother!" Ed declared, waving his own leaky lunch bag as the two began their merry march towards the cafeteria. Eddy sighed irritably, but followed anyway.

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At first, the three didn't get a chance to sit down to actually _eat_, since Edd was all too eager to tell the news to everyone they passed by, with Ed's assistance.

"Oh, Nazz! I must inform you, I have a younger sibling on the way!"

"Really? That's awesome! Congratulations, Double D!"

"Double D's getting a baby brother or sister, just like us, baby sister!"

"…Really? Double D, _really?_"

"Let Rolf congratulate you with a Kneecap Bash of Celebration!"

WHAM. "YEOWTCH! Erm… th-thank you, Rolf… ouch…"

"For crying out loud, Double D! Why don't you just put out a _memo?_"

"No can do, Eddy!" Edd replied, once again missing the sarcastic jib. "It's so much more invigorating to tell everyone in person! Oh, Kevin, have you heard?"

"Yeah. Like I give."

Meanwhile, Ed was entertaining Jonny with a story, flapping his arms like a great bird. "Soon the stock will fly down to Double D's house and drop his new baby sibling down the chimney!"

"Far out!"

This particular statement succeeded in briefly halting Edd's merriment as he turned to give Ed a strange look. There was a bit of an awkward silence, until Edd himself broke it with an amused chuckle, patting his innocent pal on the shoulder.

"Oh, Ed, you can't honestly still believe that story, can you?"

"But it's true, Double D! My mom said so!"

"That's only a tall tale, Ed! A myth parents invent to maintain your innocence as a child!"

"Says you!"

"Okay, fine, smart guy!" Eddy stepped into the argument, jabbing a finger into Edd's chest. "If that stork story ain't true, then where _do_ babies come from?"

Suddenly, everything grew quiet, and the entire room seemed to hold its breath. Edd, placed in a terribly awkward position, began to sweat, eyes darting around as he frantically searched _just_ the right words to say.

"…W-well… um…" When his gaze landed on Ed, he found a solution. "Ed! Before Sarah was born, did you notice anything… different about your mother?"

Ed replied with a blank stare.

"Anything about her… um… _shape_?"

Ed's brain seemed to twitch, and then he grinned. "Oh, yeah! She got all big and round!"

Suddenly, Sarah leaped onto his shoulders, seizing his jacket collar in one hand and clenching a fist in the other. "You calling Mom fat, buster?"

"Sarah, please!" Edd plucked her off with minor protest. "Now, Ed, why do you think your mother grew to that size, only to slim back down after your sister was born?"

"…um…oh! 'Cause she swelled with joy!" Ed quoted from one of Edd's previous statements. He then gasped and poked Edd in the belly. "Just like you will!"

Edd sighed, ignoring how Eddy had visualized a swelled-up version of his pal and was now laughing wildly. "No, Ed. Your mother grew in size because Sarah was _inside_ her."

Ed gasped. "My mom ate Sarah?"

Eddy's laughter grew in intensity and volume.

"Oh, for heaven's sake!" Irritated, Edd pulled out a book seemingly from thin air, titled 'Prepping for the Final Exam,' and flipped through it. "Tell you what, Ed. Since human reproduction is covered in the final exam, we'll discuss it at length tonight in our tutoring session." He faced Eddy as well, the movement causing his laughing to halt abruptly. "In fact, I happen to have an educational video we can watch on the subject! How does that sound?"

Ed blinked deliriously. "…Movie…?"

Eddy shrugged. "Guess that's better than reading a book."

"MOVIE!"

"Very well! Glad that's settled…" A groan vibrated through the cafeteria as the children dispersed. "My apologizes, everyone! It's only best to look it up yourself!"

"Dork!"

Edd frowned inwardly. Some things never change.

Soon, a tiny poke on his shoulder brought his attention down to little Jimmy, beaming brightly up at him.

"…Can I help you, Jimmy? Oof!"

The youth replied with an adorable little hug. "Just wanted to congratulate you personally! I'm so happy for you, Double D!"

Edd grinned at his compassion, his heart warming. "Why, thank you, Jimmy, truly."

"Also…" He pulled away, bouncing excitedly. "I wanted to ask you when the baby shower is!"

Edd blinked. "Baby shower?"

"Baby shower?" Eddy mirrored like a parrot, the words oddly catching his attention.

"Of course! The heartwarming exchange of condolences and gifts!"

"Gifts?" Eddy grew quite interesting.

"Oh! Well, I only learned the news yesterday, but when I find the time to organize such an event, you'll be the first to know the details!"

"Excellent! Congratulations again, Double D!"

"And thank you again, Jimmy!" Edd called out as they boy galloped away happily. "A baby shower… what a refreshing idea," he mused to himself, beginning to think.

However, he was interrupted when he heard a maniacal little giggle behind him, turning to face an insidious grin that looked all too familiar upon his friend's face.

Edd's eyes narrowed suspiciously. "Eddy…"

"Baby showers need gifts," Eddy quietly connected. "And gifts need cash!" His grin maximized as he clambered onto Edd's shirt, clutching his collar. "_That's it!_ It's the mother of all scams, Double D! Your baby sibling's gonna make us _rich!_"

"Oh, no you don't!" Edd pushed him off, and he landed ungracefully upon his rear end. "I've gone along with every other one of your scams, but I'm _not_ going to allow you to take advantage of an innocent soul that hasn't even been born yet!"

"Aw, come on, Double D! We just look for out old baby junk and sell it to whoever's going to the baby shower, and _bingo!_ We'll be swimming in moolah!"

"Certainly not!" Edd exclaimed, appalled. "I will _not_ accept hand-me-downs, nor will I permit my brother or sister to become _your_ next cashcow! End of discussion!" In a huff, he left to find Ed and sit down to lunch.

Eddy growled deeply, but regained his composure and followed. Sockhead or not, he was going to make money off the news if it _killed_ him.

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Later that afternoon, the day's tutoring session was ready to begin. Ed and Eddy were positioned in front of the television in Edd's living room, each with a pad of paper, designed to take notes on, but would probably only sit there and collect dust. Eddy was wearing a mope of apathy while Ed fidgeted, waiting anxiously for the movie.

At last, Edd hastily padded down the stairs, a video tape clutched in his hands. "Alright, gentlemen," he pronounced, switching on the TV and slipping the tape into the VCR. It buzzed in protest, as if it was rarely used. "Prepare to witness the Miracle of Life! Be sure to take notes!"

"Sure thing, Double D," Eddy mumbled, though his pencil still laid on the floor. Ed was using his pencil to clean out his ears.

Soon the default static was replaced by the black wall that started every movie. A few minutes later, the picture began.

"Oh, look! A baby! Looks kinda weird…"

"That's because it's still in the uterus, Ed."

"Naw, it twitched!"

"Man, this guy talking is so dull I could fall asleep!"

"Would you two just be quiet and watch?"

This sort of conversation persisted until ten minutes into the movie, when it began to explain the process. About forty-five minutes later, Ed and Eddy were completely enraptured, their pencils in hand and subconsciously adding to their collection of notes. Edd was highly pleased, mentally making a list of other videos to rent for later lessons.

Then the documentary was drawing to a close.

"…_and after nine months of development, the child is finally ready to be born._"

Edd's face paled in dreaded realization.

The other two sat forward in anticipation, awaiting the moment of truth, when the TV was suddenly shut off.

"HEY! What gives?"

"Where'd the movie go?"

"Well, well, well!" Edd popped up in front of them, mildly sweating. "We're running low on time this evening, so let's review!"

"But Double D!" Ed whined. "We didn't get to see the end!"

"Yeah, what happens next?" Eddy demanded.

Edd did his best to ignore the increased perspiration stinging his eyes. "…The baby… comes out."

"How? Where?"

Edd swallowed hard, desperately fishing for an idea. "It… um… the mother's… well…"

He looked at their attentive, wide eyes, waiting for an answer. Eyes still innocent and unaware of the nit and gritty of the world.

Edd let out a sigh.

"The mother throws it up like an improperly digested meal."

Silence.

"Oh, whoa, cool!"

"Sweet!"

As they scribbled the lie down, Edd released his held breath, glancing at the wall clock. "Very good, then. That's about all the time we have for tonight, but I feel we've made excellent progress! At this rate, that final exam will be as good as passed!"

"Awesome!"

"You're the best, Double D!"

Edd beamed, happy to be appreciated for once, as his pupils gathered their things. "Well, then, same time tomorrow, yes?"

"Whatever."

"Same time, same waffles!"

They departed for home, Edd waving from the window. An air of satisfaction lifted his spirits as he went around the living room, cleaning up the various tools used that evening.

But he stopped when he lifted the video box, staring at the fetus on the cover and fleetingly wondering why he had shut off the movie at the critical point and fed them a complete and utter fib in replacement.

_They aren't ready yet_, he told himself. _Best not to traumatize them before such a monumental test. It's only one question they could possibly miss… right?_

But… maybe _he_ wasn't ready. It was hard to tell.

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A/N: Yup. Now you get why? XD Hooray for the longer chapter! Say… what _was_ the name of that episode with the birth stories? They seriously need to put the other seasons out on DVD, that's all there is to it. Well, review, please!


	4. The Scam of All Scams

A/N: Okay, gotta keep this gravy train running! Not much for me to say but read on!

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Chapter 4: The Scam of All Scams

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"Man, this idea's too good even for me… Well, Lumpy, did you get them?"

"Sure did, Eddy!"

"Did you _wash_ them like I told you?"

"Sure did, Eddy!"

"…Lemme take a look." Doubtful, Eddy opened his pal's locker to face a multitude of fresh, clean, hand-me-down baby clothes and toys. "Geez Louise. Your parents spoiled you, seriously."

"Nah," Ed waved it off. "Mom said I ate most of my toys, so she bought a lot just in case."

Eddy could only reply with an odd stare, but decided not to question further, grinning and patting him atop his flat head. "Good work, Ed! With this and what I've got, we'll have more than enough to filch those pigeons!"

"And Double D's baby brother or sister will know the cuddliness Mr. Fuzzums has brought me!" Ed announced happily, squeezing the dickens out of a small teddy bear.

"Shh! Here he comes, put it away!" Eddy quietly urged, shoving Mr. Fuzzums back into Ed's locker and slamming the door.

Edd strolled down the school hallway in silence, feeling a little more reserved this morning as his thoughts constantly distracted him. He looked up to find his two chums leaning nonchalantly on Ed's locker, Eddy examining his nails and whistling, while Ed swayed and hummed a tune. Edd was quick to realize they were hiding something, but he was too focused on his own worries to even bother to ask what.

Eddy looked up and did a double take, as if just noticing him. "Oh, hey, Double D! What's up?"

Ed waved energetically. "Hello, Double D!"

"Ah… morning, gentlemen," came a half-hearted reply with an equally hesitant smile. The two once again noticed his odd behavior, slinking up behind him as he twisted his locker combination.

"…Double D?" Ed poked him, startling his slightly. "Why the long face?"

Edd blinked as his locker door popped open. "…h-huh?"

"Yeah, what happened to you? Yesterday you were bouncing off the walls and everything!" Eddy elaborated. "Now you're just kinda… there."

"Oh…" Edd feebly replied, rubbing his neck tensely. "Just a little uneasiness, I suppose… I'm beginning to have second thoughts about all this…"

"Second thoughts?" Oh, no, Sockhead wasn't going to chicken out now, not when his plans were going well for once. "Double D, you don't have second thoughts about a new baby unless _you're _ the one having it!"

Edd gawked, caught off guard. He wasn't sure what was more surprising, the fact that Eddy knew that or how he mentioned it.

"Look, you're gonna get a new sibling whether you like it or not, so you're just gonna have to deal with it, alright?"

"What about all the nice things you said yesterday, Double D?" Ed reminded. "See? It's not all bad!"

Edd glanced between his two friends, finding comfort in their words and showing it with a meaningful smile. "…You're right. I suppose my fears are groundless."

"No _duh_ they are!"

"…thanks."

"Anytime, Double D!"

"Oh, Double D!" A bubbly voice called out, and the addressee paused in his movement to grab his textbooks and turned to face an approaching Jimmy. "There you are, you slippery snake! I've been looking for you all morning!"

"For me?" Edd blinked, lowering his reaching hand uncertainly. "Whatever for?"

"The baby shower!" Jimmy exclaimed with a giddy bound. "Just wanted to know if you had the details all figured out!"

"Ah… right!" Edd instead pulled out his weekly planner and a pencil from his locker. "Actually, I was hoping you could help me figure out a proper date."

"Of course!"

"Now, the baby's due in a few weeks, so…"

While the two worked out the date and time, Eddy grinned deviously, tugging Ed to his side by the neck. "Get ready to retire, Ed. After this, we'll be financially set for life!"

"With pension and all!"

"So, next Saturday, yes?" Edd penciled it in. "Sounds good to me. That should give me plenty of time to organize the festivities."

"Wonderful!" Jimmy wrote down his own reminder in a notebook.

"Indeed," Edd agreed, sliding his pencil behind his ear. "Would you mind informing the others?"

"It'll be my pleasure!"

"Very well, then! I'll see you there!" He waved to a departing Jimmy, turning back to his locker.

"I'll be there, Double DeeeEEEK!" The boy squealed when another pulled him aside by his metal retainer, wearing the most shrewd smirk. "Eddy!"

"_Shh!_" Eddy quickly shushed him, glancing over at Edd, who was submerged in his locker and unsuspecting. Just how Eddy wanted him to be. "What I'm about to tell you can't get out to Sockhead, alright?"

"W-what're you talking about, Ed-mmph!" Jimmy came close to wailing frightfully before Eddy clamped his mouth shut. Thankfully, Edd was busy ironing his tie, and didn't hear the cry over the iron's hum.

"I said shh!" Eddy harshly whispered. "Listen up, Curly-Q. We're having a baby sale, y'know, clothes and toys and stuff like that. The perfect gifts for that little baby shower you'll be going to!"

"Really?" Jimmy grew interested, yet suspicious. "But why must we keep it a secret from Double D?"

"'Cause it's a _surprise_, Jimmy!" Ed gleefully answered.

"Yeah, do you _want_ him to know what gifts you're getting for his sibling?"

"Oh!" Jimmy frantically shook his head. "N-no, I don't!"

"Right!" Eddy slapped his chest, knocking the breath out of him. "We'll be in the gym 'til next Wednesday during lunch. Think you can spread the news around?"

"S-sure!"

"Great! We'll see you there!" He literally flicked the flimsy boy away, slapping Ed on the shoulder. "Nice save, Monobrow."

Ed beamed typically. "Couldn't let the other team win, could I?"

"…of course not."

The ringing of the school bell got all their attention, even Edd's, who poked his head out briefly, cringed, and darted back into his locker to gather his things.

"Good Lord, the one-minute bell!" He slammed the door shut and twisted the dial for added security. "Hurry, both of you! One more tardy in first period and it's another lunch detention for all of us!"

Usually such a proclamation would be ignored, but this time around, Eddy knew that had to be avoided at all costs. "Right behind you, Double D!" He snatched up his book bag and followed an already dashing Edd down the hall. "_Hurry up, Ed!_"

"Hurry, hurry, run, run!"

It seemed like an impossible feat, but Lady Luck was on their side for once, and they reached their desks just as the tardy bell rang. The mother of all close calls.

----------

For today, to Ed and Eddy, time and secrecy were of the essence. No spare minute of the day was wasted; during every five-minute passing period, the two slyly transported their merchandise to the very back of the gym's ball and equipment room, in the farthest corner where not even the gym teacher would be able to find them. By fourth period, they were all stuffed into the back corner, ready for retail.

Eddy looked over their work with an air of satisfaction, wrapping an arm around Ed shoulders and summing it all up in one statement.

"I hope you're not allergic to _success_, Lummox!"

"Me neither, Eddy!"

----------

Eddy couldn't believe it. Even after all the confidence he maintained in this scam, he _still _couldn't believe it.

The scam had _worked._

It was only Monday, and all their wares were gone. Bought up by every single kid anticipating the upcoming celebration. And there he stood, in front of his open locker, holding a wad of cash. Not just nickels, dimes and quarters. Green dollar bills, ranging from many Ones to a very beautiful-looking Twenty.

All Eddy could do was stare at the fruits of his work, unbelieving his luck. He didn't even know what to _do_ with this much money.

But was he mentally complaining? Of course not. Instead, the song _We're in the Money_ was looping through his brain.

Ed stood beside him with the most vacant look on his face as he waited for Eddy to say something, gazing between him and other objects in the hallway.

Then he spotted the pile of greenbacks in Eddy's hand. "Wow. That's a lotta cash, Eddy."

At last, Eddy released a deep, loving sigh, ignoring how Ed had stated that three times now. "I know, huh?"

"Eddy?"

Paying no heed to Ed whatsoever, he grinned dreamily, his head tilted to the side on his limp, nonexistent neck. "It's _beautiful_, ain't it?"

"Hmm…" Ed took a dollar into hand and scrutinized it. "Not really. It's all dulled and crinkled…" He squinted and held it closer. "Whoa, how do they make the writing so tiny?"

"_Magic_," Eddy breathed in his blissful daze.

"Ooh…" Ed fell under the spell as well. "Cool."

"Ed? Eddy?"

At that inquisitive voice, their trance was broken. Snapping back to their senses, they stuffed the cash into Eddy's locker and pulled out any other objects to fulfill their fake interest. Facing their pal, Eddy was gazing at an open algebra book and Ed was examining a four function calculator.

Edd gave his chums a deadpan stare. "…Should I ask, or would I regret doing so?"

"I wouldn't if I were you," Eddy blurted, snapping his book closed.

Ed looked up as if just noticing his arrival. "Oh! Hello, Double D!" He held up the calculator upside down. "Look! I can spell out 'Oboe Shoes!'"

Catching on, Edd surprised them with a knowing smirk. "Very well, then. You two can keep your secret, for now, at least. I'm just glad to see you're prepared for tonight's lesson. How'd you know I was planning to start on Algebra this evening?"

"Um… instinct?" Eddy ventured.

"Numbers and letters dancing in my dreams last night!" Ed threw out with a mini-jig.

Edd laughed. "Oh, you're both too much!" he heartily exclaimed, popping open his locker to store his things away for tomorrow.

Eddy raised a brow. "Just what's _that_ supposed to mean?"

"Nothing, nothing…" Edd chuckled lightly.

Eddy sighed irritably. He _hated_ when Sockhead did that.

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A/N: OMG A SCAM WORKED FOR ONCE:O Surprising! Ah… yes, yes, there's a Strongbad phrase in there, I know. I couldn't think of anything more random to produce from a calculator. XD I'm hopeless. Oh well. Review!


	5. An Abrupt End

A/N: Weee, time for some fun! …as if we weren't having it already. XD Ah well, read on!

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Chapter 5: An Abrupt End to the Festivities

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Before Edd knew it, Saturday evening came, and the reception was on. Of course, he was prepared nonetheless, greeting each of his visitors at the door.

"Hello! …Welcome! …Make yourself at home… the stereo's on your left and refreshments are to your right… please enjoy yourselves…"

_KAPOW!_

"ACK!" Edd coughed, along with every other person in the entry hall, at the white cloud of powder released from a flour bag.

"The party has _ARRIVED!_" Eddy emerged from the mist dramatically, over-dressed as usual and throwing gestures towards the ladies. Or, more accurately, the one and only 'lady,' Nazz, who replied with a weird look.

"Woohoo! Nice entrance, Eddy!" Jonny cheered.

"Show-off…" Kevin grumbled.

"…_hack!_ … W-welcome, Eddy," Edd cleared his throat.

"Welcome _me_, Double D!" Just as he caught his breath, however, he found himself squeezed and lifted into Ed's colossal arms.

"_GACK!_ …y-yes, welcome, Ed," Edd squeaked, being dropped abruptly when Ed noticed the snacks and rushed over.

"_Finally,_ a party _we're_ invited to with _everyone_ here!" Eddy exclaimed as Edd got off the floor and dusted himself off. "And it's no wonder! Everybody likes _you_! Why haven't you held parties before?"

"Because I've had no reason to, nor the chance," Edd replied. "Do you know how _long_ it took me to catch up on all my homework this morning?"

"Nope. And I don't care too much to know either."

Edd sighed, defeated.

"Expecting brother Ed-boy! Might you grant Rolf permission to switch on your music box? Rolf wishes to shake what his Nana gave him!"

"Go right on ahead, Rolf!"

Edd stood back and watched the party unfold, his guests dancing, noshing on chips, and generally enjoying themselves. Nothing could spoil the feel-good mood, not even the minor quarrel between Kevin and Eddy as the latter continuously tried to grab Nazz's attention. Edd didn't even have to intervene; one blow to Eddy's face was all it took, and he wisely back off for the rest of the night. This type of behavior was almost expected, and thus the soiree continued on uneventfully.

Edd had to admit Eddy was right; he should've tried this party thing a long time ago. If a bundle of joy hadn't been on the way, he would've been more than happy to host more.

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"Attention, please… Your attention, please, ladies and gentlemen!" Edd called out, tapping a spoon against his punch glass. Once the party-goers all faced him, he cleared his throat and began.

"Well… let me start by thanking you all for coming this evening. I trust you've been enjoying yourselves?"

A cheer erupted from the group, and Edd waited patiently for it to die down before continuing.

"Very good, I'm glad to hear it. Also, I…" He paused, caught in his emotion. "…I cannot find the words that do proper justice for the… _immense_ amount of happiness I've been experiencing lately. Not only for the upcoming birth of my new sibling, but also for all your…_unbridled_ support, and your ability to set aside your differences to _share_ this support… It's very heartwarming, I can tell you that much. So I'd like to thank you all for that as well."

"Of course, Double D!"

"No problem!"

"Happy huggles for big brother Double D!" Ed once again embraced his dear friend in a bear of a hug, and equal amounts of "aww"s and groans vibrated through the air.

Rolf wiped away a tear. "Rolf hasn't felt such tenderness since he last massaged Papa's back."

"Aww, that's so nice, isn't it, Kevin?" Nazz cooed in delight, receiving an expected groan in return.

"Yeah, real _sweet_."

Once Ed had finally let Edd go, Eddy approached next, slapping his shoulder. "So, 'Big Brother,' you ready to open the gifts or what?"

"Yes, the gifts!" Jimmy agreed, and Sarah joined him in his chorus. "_Present time, present time, open a present and see what's inside!_"

"Okay, yes, I'm ready!" Edd laughed, pushing his friends aside playfully as he made his way over to the table holding all the gifts, wrapped in pastel colors and pretty bows. He eyed each one joyfully, not sure which one to open first.

"That one, Double D!" Sarah cried out, others joining her. "Open that one!"

Edd consented and grabbed the present they pointed out, examining the wrapping to try and find an opening to rip into.

"Need any _help_, Double Dweeb?" Levin laughed until Nazz sharply elbowed him. "Ow!"

Edd couldn't hold back his grin of amusement at the gesture, others around him snickering. "That's quite alright, Kevin, I can handle it myself," he answered nonchalantly, reaching into his pocket and producing a tiny, thin blade.

Ed gasped. "Look out! Double D's got a knife!"

"It's just a letter opener, Ed."

"…Oh."

Edd cleaved a straight line over the top, gently tearing the paper apart and popping the cover of the box open. Looking inside, he smiled sweetly. "…Aww, look…" He lifted the yellow pajamas up to show everyone. "How simply adorable."

"Cute jammies!"

"Open the next one!"

The next twenty minutes were a repeat of the same thing, the children picking each gift and Edd opening them and showing off their contents. In the end, he glanced at the pile of toys and clothes fondly. A good starter set for his beloved baby sibling.

"This is all so wonderful," he sighed. "Thank you, everyone."

They all nodded, giggled, or waved it off.

"Although…" He grew thoughtful. "I can't help but feel I've seen most of these particular items before…"

Eddy's mirth vanished. _Uh oh…_

Ed looked at the gifts himself as if looking at them for the first time. "Yeah… Deja vu, huh, Double D?"

"I believe you're right, Ed."

Eddy began to sweat as the other, knowing kids glanced his way suspiciously. He replied with an innocent grin and a desperate shrug.

Before the situation could get worse for him, however, the telephone rang, catching Edd's attention, and the subject was dropped, much to Eddy's relief.

"Oh! Excuse me for just a sec…" Edd pardoned himself, stepping over the discarded wrapping paper littering the floor and answering the phone. "Double D's house. Double D speaking."

The room grew quiet, as focus was trained on him when his cheerful face faltered.

"Father? …Oh, we're in the middle of the baby shower right now… Everything's fine… Yes, I finished all my homework. What is it, what happened?"

The color drained from his face.

"Mother's what? …Her… her _water broke_? _When_? …An _hour_ ago? Are you telling me she's in _labor_ right now?"

A collective gasp cycled through the room as Edd held his forehead in overwhelming shock.

"B-but the doctor said next week!" He sighed shakily. "No, Father, I'm alright… Where are you? …Peach Creek Medical Center? Yes, I know where that is. It's walking distance from the cul-de-sac, so I can make it there on my own…" His gaze landed on Ed and Eddy. "…or with a friend or two. We'll be there ASAP… Alright… I'll try… goodbye."

He hung up the suddenly heavy telephone, staring off vacantly and feeling sick.

A general hush filled the room, until Ed approached his stiff friend's side. "Double D? What happened?"

"Yeah, what happened?" Eddy uneasily exclaimed. "Water broke? Labor? What's that all mean? Is it bad?"

The only movement Edd made was the shutting of his eyes helplessly.

"It means the baby's ready to be born."

A whirlwind of panic took the room by storm at this new development, and Edd broke from his trance to maintain order.

"People, _please_, everyone calm down!" he desperately called until they all settled down. "I apologize for such an abrupt end to the festivities, but I _must_ embark to the hospital posthaste!"

"Double D!" Jimmy cried. "You're not going by yourself, are you?"

"I don't intend to, no." Edd faced his two best friends, bringing them in by the shoulders. "Ed… Eddy… Your company during this stressful time would be very much appreciated."

"T-totally, yeah," Eddy nodded, unable to find an excuse not to.

"Three's high society, Double D!"

Edd smiled in gratitude. "Thank you… _so_ very much."

"Wait! Jimmy and I'll come too!"

"So will me and Kevin!"

"Aw, man… _ow!_"

"Rolf shall accompany you to the house of medicine!"

"Count us in too! We're gonna see a _real_ baby be born, Plank!"

Edd gazed unbelievingly at his willing peers, who were now all standing and ready to follow him to the point of no return. Greatly encouraged once again by their never-ending support, he didn't bother to object, nodding.

"Very well, then. Please pick up your coats and follow me out the door in an orderly manner."

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A/N: The moment of truth draws near! Sorry this chappie was so short; it would've been humungous if combined with the next one. This whole entire story will be filled with short and long chapters as I break them up oddly and yeah. :) What is she blubbering about, you ask? Don't let it worry you. Just thinking out loud, and my train of thought has no railings or stations. XD Just review, please!


	6. Welcome to the World

A/N: Wow! I guess I left you guys in a pretty killer cliffhanger. My bad! Let's get right on with it! The moment of truth! Read on, anxious readers!

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Chapter 6: Welcome to the World

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The lobby of the Peach Creek Medical Center was in a quiet bustle, doctors and nurses hurrying as fast as they could without actually _running_. Many of them passed by the cul-de-sac kids without a second glance, huddled in one corner of the waiting area, _anxiously_ waiting. Most of the black cushioned couches and chairs were occupied, the rest of the, sitting on the floor or the edge of the low table. One chair was left empty, however, reserved for Edd, who was currently pacing back and forth nearby, distraught with worry.

"Oh dear, oh dear… how much longer…" he deliriously muttered, checking his wristwatch for about the tenth time that minute. "…52 minutes… add an hour and that's 112 minutes she's been in labor, almost two hours… Childbirth can range anywhere between two hours and two _days_…!"

"Double D, are you okay?" Nazz asked, concerned.

He froze at that question, glancing hollowly at her before sighing unsteadily and plopping into his vacant chair. "I… I-I have _no_ idea…"

"But Double D, I thought you were _happy_ about it!" Ed pointed out, growing worried as Edd held his head in dismay.

"I-I-I am, I am! Don't get me wrong…" He stared off aimlessly, growing frustrated. "I just… I am _losing_ my mind and I _don't know why_!"

"It's called an 'anxiety attack,'" Jimmy piped up, smiling sympathetically. "Everybody gets those during these types of critical moments!"

Edd glanced up at him and blinked. "I… I _knew_ that." This realization only disheartened him more. "Good lord, I can't even _think_ straight…!" he moaned miserably.

"Just calm down, Double D…" Nazz took his hand, a gesture that would normally be met with a shy response, but Edd was too feverish to even notice. "Come on, deep breaths, in and out… that's it…"

While a few of them tried to soothe his fears, Ed's attention was brought away briefly when a piece of wood poked his arm, and he glanced down at a curious Jonny.

"Hey, Ed? Since they won't let us in to see Double D's sibling be born… how does it _really_ work?"

Ed's eyebrow irked. "Huh?"

"Where do babies _really _come from?" Jonny elaborated. "Double D told you, didn't he?"

The inquiry caught mostly everyone else's attention as well, and their ears turned to whatever Ed had to say next, a reception he rarely received.

"Go on, Ed!" Eddy sat back, knowing the story already. "Tell 'em what you know!"

"Uh… okay!" Ed, ecstatic to be the center of attention, began by making a tiny circle with his fingers and placing it on his tummy. "Well, once a month, the mom has a really tiny egg inside her. If the dad's seed gets into the egg, a baby starts growing!"

"Right on!" Jonny cheered. "I _knew_ we came from eggs!"

"Yeah! And then the baby spends time growing _inside_ the mom, about… uh… how long was it, Eddy?"

"About nine months, I think."

"Yeah, nine months! After that, the baby's ready to come out!"

"How does it come out, Ed?" Sarah asked excitedly, addressing the question the whole anticipating group of kids shared.

Ed paused for dramatic effect. _Just like in the movies_, he thought giddily. Then he beamed and threw up his arms.

"The mom upchucks the baby like _tossed cookies!_"

Silence.

"…My mom _threw me up_?"

"Way cool!"

"Crude, yet effective! Hail to the wonder of a mother's upheaval!"

"No way! That's not how babies are born!" Kevin protested, ruining the hype. "That's more stupid than the _stork_ story!"

"Whadda _you_ know, Einstein?" Eddy countered.

"It's true!" Ed insisted, thrusting a finger in Edd's direction. "Double D said so!"

The party in question shot his gaze up at the proclamation.

"Well, Double Dork was _lying!_"

"He was not!"

"Don't sweat it, Ed," Eddy slyly retorted. "Kev's just mad 'cause he was born the same way his mom would lose her lunch."

"I'll give _you_ something to lose your lunch over, you big…!"

"Guys, come on!" Nazz stepped in, always the referee between the two hotheads. "Not now, okay? And give Double D a break. He's got enough to deal with right… now…?"

Puzzled, she and the others watched Edd pass her by in a slow walk, his frightful gaze resting on one of the doctors.

"…D-doctor…?" Edd feebly spoke up. "…Y-yes, Eddward, that's me…"

The doctor beckoned him over to follow him.

"Yes, I'm coming," Edd obeyed, trotting up to his side and disappearing with him down the hall.

A few minutes passed before anyone realized what had just happened. They all exchanged glances, then, without a word, they leaped to their feet and hurried to catch up.

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Though their walking pace was slow, Edd's heart was racing in his chest. He had both awaited and dreaded this moment, the fateful stroll through the pristine hallways of the hospital. He wasn't expecting to be escorted, however. Was that a bad thing? Did something… happen…?

"D-doctor?" Edd squeaked, cringing and clearing his throat. "Is everything okay? My mother, the baby, are they alright?"

With a nod as a response, lifting much of his worries off his shoulders, Edd expressed his immense relief by fully unbolting his chatterbox mouth.

"Oh, thank _heavens!_ I was beginning to fear a miscarriage or perhaps something worse… After all, the baby _was_ born an entire week early, anything could've happened… But I suppose it's not uncommon to be a bit early, is it? You know, now that I think of it, I remember now! _I _was born two weeks early! Can you believe that? It's rather humorous, actually, the doctors said I was due on my mother's birthday, but she said '_Oh,_ no, I'm not celebrating my birthday in labor!' And I guess I felt her impending wrath, because I sure came out in a hurry! One hour and eight minutes! A fast delivery if I ever heard of one! Of course, I can understand her feelings, I mean, who in their right mind…would… want…"

He trailed off into absolute silence, halting in his walk as well, as the doctor motioned to a small, metal cart down the hall, its edges draped in cloth.

"…Pink?" Edd observed the color. "That means it's a girl, right?"

The doctor nodded.

"…a baby sister…" Edd breathed, shivering deeply when a tingling sensation raced through his bosom. "…_my_ baby sister."

His eyes glued to the carriage, he slowly made his way over, each step heavier than the last, as if his feet were treading through molasses. His hands never left his sternum, held in place for fear of his beating heart bursting out of his chest. The closer he grew, the more he heard the shrill wails and sobs from the newborn inside, and he froze, tempted to turn on his heels and run away. However, he girded his loins, visibly gulping, then took hold of the edges and looked inside.

The cries instantly stopped.

Edd was petrified with absolute wonder, trembling slightly as he was hit with thousands of emotions at once. It took him some time to manage a grin.

"H… hello, there," he greeted breathlessly, sighing shakily and trying again. "…It… It's nice to finally meet you…" He found a copy of the birth certificate plastered to the side of the cart, reading her name. "…Jennifer. M-my name is Eddward… or you can call me Double D, either way doesn't matter to me…"

Realizing he was babbling, he stopped, his head trying to catch up with his heart.

"I… I'm your… big brother…" he choked out, close to losing it as his hands began to move erratically. "Th-that means you and I share the same parents, and therefore the same genetic makeup, b-but mine is a little differently arranged than yours, _obviously_ with the sex chromosomes, seeing as how I'm male and you're female, but…!"

Edd froze suddenly to glance downwards, where a tiny hand had wrapped its tiny fingers around his pinkie.

With this first touch, the bond was sealed, and his anxieties vaporized into memory. Gazing lovingly at his baby sister, Edd beamed ear to ear, tears of joy cascading down his face.

"Welcome to the world, Jennifer."

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"He went down this way!"

"Guys, don't run! We're in a hospital!"

"Double D! Oh, _Double D!_ Here, boy!"

The cul-de-sac kids hurried down the halls, searching frantically for their pal and nearly knocking several doctors over in the process. On more than one occasion, Ed slipped on the waxed floor when turning too sharply, sometimes hitting the wall and sometimes taking the others down to the floor with him.

"Hurry up, slowpokes!" Eddy urged. "We're almost th…!"

Glancing forward, he hit the brakes, the other kids doing the same a little too late, and the lot of them ended up as a lump of bodies piled on the floor. They quickly recovered, getting back on their feet, before gazing ahead.

Just down the hall stood their ol' Sockhead, his back turned to them as he leaned over a cart, enraptured with whatever was inside. Quietly, they approached in an orderly manner as he asked for the doctor's permission before reaching in and carefully pulling out its contents.

"…So…" Eddy spoke up first. "…what's the word, Double D?"

Edd glanced over his shoulder, grinning brightly as he turned around to expose exactly what he was cradling in his arms.

There it was, nestled in his hold comfortably: a tiny, somewhat chubby baby, blinking its bright blue eyes and quizzically staring at its unfamiliar surroundings and at all the strangers ogling it. The smallest tuffs of sandy blonde hair curled about its large ovum head, its facial features strikingly similar to its brother's. Above it was displayed the happiest, most prideful smile that had ever crossed Edd's face.

A silent moment of awe was observed before Edd gazed down at the child in his arms fondly.

"…she's beautiful, isn't she?" he breathed raptly.

"She?" Eddy muttered incredibly. "It's a _girl_?"

"It most certainly is," Edd replied, too happy to worry about his pal's inappropriate reaction.

"Great…"

"What's her name, Double D?" Ed asked softly, his delighted grin close to matching Edd's.

He sighed deeply. "Jennifer."

Ed's grin impossibly grew as he leaned closer to greet the newborn. "Hello, Jennifer! My name is Ed!"

Jennifer replied with a stare, reaching up with a tiny, plump hand and grasping his stubby nose. Both of them giggled.

Edd chuckled. "Oh, she likes _you_, Ed, that's for sure."

Ed squealed giddily, drawing back and pulling their third buddy closer.

"Hey! Leggo, Lummox!"

"Say hi to Eddy, Jennifer!"

Thrust into an awkward position, Edd's gaze met Jennifer's, and they stared at each other vacantly. "…um… hey, there. Name's Eddy," he ventured with a desperate grin.

Jennifer paused, then released the sweetest giggle Eddy had ever heard.

He threw Edd an unsure look. "…she making fun of me?"

"Not in the slightest, Eddy," Edd regained his familiar, smarty tone, though his smile failed to fade even slightly. "As foreign as it may seem to you, she happens to like you too."

"Really?" Eddy hesitated, lost in an emotion alien to him before flexing an almost normal grin. "Heh… that's… kinda cool."

"Lemme see her, Double D!" Sarah pushed past them, pulling Jimmy up with her. They both looked over her with wide eyes. "She's so tiny! And cute!"

"A beautiful, healthy baby!" Jimmy exclaimed joyfully. "She's got your eyes, Double D! And your whimsical smile!"

"You really think so?" Edd couldn't hold back the eagerness in his voice, looking her over. "I suppose…"

"Allow Rolf a glimpse at the newborn!" The son of a shepherd came near next, examining Jennifer carefully before grinning. "Ah, yes! Rolf sees bewitching loveliness in the little one's future!"

Edd threw him an astounded glance. "Rolf! You really think she'll…?"

"I _know_ she will, doubtful Ed-boy! Rolf knows impending beauty when he sees it!"

Edd beamed, and his sister did the same identically. "That's wonderful to know. Thanks, Rolf."

"C'mere, Plank, she's not gonna _bite_ ya!" Jonny persisted as the two drew closer. "She doesn't even have teeth yet!"

Edd snickered, playing along. "Say hello to Jonny 2x4 and Plank, Jennifer."

"Hiya, Jennifer!"

The infant gazed at the pair, poking Plank in the face before smiling.

"Woohoo!" Jonny bounded away happily. "She likes us too, Plank! How cool is that?"

"She's got _awesome_ eyes," Kevin commented as he and Nazz approached. "…but how come they're blue? _Your_ eyes aren't blue."

"Most infants are born with blue eyes, Kevin," Edd explained, adjusting Jennifer when she began to squirm. "They become their own color within the first year of development."

"Oh… got it."

"You look so _natural_ holding her, Double D," Nazz happily noted. "I always knew you'd be good with children."

At such a flattering comment, Edd properly blushed this time, cracking a demure smile. "Gosh, I… thank you, Nazz."

Nazz smiled back, making his innards do loop-de-loops.

"I just got one question," Eddy stepped in again, gesturing at Jennifer. "Where'd the blonde hair come from?"

The mirth disappeared from Edd's face as he looked up into everyone's equally questioning eyes.

Their question was almost answered when Jennifer, currently out of Edd's attention, reached up and grabbed the edge of his hat. She would've pulled it off had not her brother intervened.

"No, no, no, Jennifer!" he chided, pulling her hand away and tucking the sliver of black fabric behind his ear. "The hat's off limits!"

The next moment, he almost regretted doing so as Jennifer's lip began to quiver, and her tiny whimper pulled relentlessly at his heartstrings.

"J…Jennifer…"

"Double D," Ed stepped up, ready to help. "She's sad because she's missing something!"

Edd blinked at his buddy. "…missing? Missing what?"

Ed only beamed, reaching into his pant pocket and pulling out an ebony piece of cloth, stitched up loosely with white string. He held it out to show Edd, who stared at it unbelievingly.

"Ed! I-is that a…?"

"Uh-huh! I made it myself!" Ed proudly proclaimed, showing it to Jennifer. "Hat for baby sister?"

Jennifer eyeballed it with wonder, reaching for it with both hands adorably.

"Okie-dokie!" With the greatest of acre, Ed fitted the cap over her head, adjusting it accordingly until she became Edd's spitting image. "There we go! A perfect fit!"

Everyone marveled her new look, awaiting her reaction while she curiously fingered the cloth. Pulling it over her eyes, she giggled and cooed in delight, and it was decided.

"Aw, she likes it!"

"Check it out! It's Sockhead Jr.!"

"A fitting trademark for the sibling of head-in-sock Ed-boy, yes?"

For a moment, Edd thought he was gazing widely into his reflection. Jennifer cried out happily, then yawned and curled up closer to his warmth, nuzzling his crimson shirt before falling silent, the hat falling into her eyes.

Edd smiled lovingly at his precious sister, then turned his grin up to his friend. "Oh, Ed… that was… awfully thoughtful of you."

Ed beamed typically, but when Jennifer stirred slightly, his finger shot up to his lips. "Shh! Baby sister is sleeping!"

"Oh… oh, right." Edd turned back to her cart, carefully placing her inside. "…we'd better let her… rest, then."

He remained at the cart's side, unable to tear his eyes away from his sweet little sister's peaceful form, as the others began to leave.

"See you guys tomorrow."

"Let's go home, Plank, it's _way_ past out bedtime!"

"Congratulations again, Double D!"

As expected, his two chums were the last to depart, standing by his side, but hesitant to speak up and spoil the tranquil moment Edd was wrapped in.

"You guys can go home now," he startled them, his statement muttered before he lifted his gaze. "You don't have to wait for me."

"Oh…" Eddy weakly replied. "You, uh, staying here the night?"

"Probably."

"Got it… We'll… catch you later, then."

Edd nodded, smiling softly as he turned away again. "Thank you for coming with."

"No prob. Let's head out, Ed."

"Right behind you, Eddy!" Before he left, he gave Edd one last quick hug for the night, much to his surprise. "I'm so happy for you, Double D! Kudos, Big Brother!"

"Th-thank you, Ed."

When Ed finally let go, Eddy dragged him out by the scruff of his jacket, the lovable oaf waving energetically, even after they disappeared down the hall.

Edd smiled at his dear friends, then back down at Jennifer. He reached a hand down, brushing his fingers against hers, and she clenched one of his in her sleep, as one finger was all her tiny appendages could wrap around. She held his hand close, like a security blanket, sighing dreamily.

Edd let out an equivalent sigh and didn't bother to pull away. He gazed at the precious little bundle of joy for as long as he could before his internal clock went off, telling him it was past his bedtime. Leaned over the cart's side, he slipped into blissful slumber, his sister's hand clenched firmly in his own.

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A/N: Notice how that's the same last line in Ch 2. Yes, that was on purpose. :) So IT'S A GIRL! A lot of you didn't see that coming, did you? Is the story over, however? Hardly! More is on the way! Don't expect instant updates, however, because I still have to write more and my college classes start on Monday. Only time will tell if college will eat up my life (or a lack thereof XD). For now, however, feel free to review!


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